We have survived a whole year....

I can not believe we have survived a whole year without my most favorite boy in the whole world. I would have to say what I miss the most is his is smile, laugh and sense of humor that filled our home. I am so blessed to have my other four favorite boys in the world that have a little piece of Trev in each one. I am so scared that these sweet little boys are going to forget what an amazing father, husband and person their sweet Dad is. It just brakes my heart that they have to live through this life without him. Trevor made everything in life better for us no matter how hard the situation. I wish so much I could be more like Trevor, but everyday I fall so short of even coming close to the person that he is. I love him so much and can't wait to be with him again. The boys and I have been thinking of some of our favorite memories with Trevor today. Garrett said his favorite memory was, "Dad coming in really early in the morning and waking him up and having him wear a roof top solution shirt, (like his Dad and probably matching shorts), and taking him to work for the day before anyone else was awake." Porter's favorite memory was, "him at our birthday parties." Trevor was always a big part of putting together the boys birthday party. He helped me make the cakes and everything. The birthday we liked to talk about today was Porter's ninja turtle party where Trev colored the milk in their cereal green so they could have mutant milk and same with the frosting on the cinnamon rolls he made. Brody had something I couldn't quite decipher but he wanted to go on and on about his favorite things about, "MY DADDY". He was very upset when I tried to move on to Mason and he wasn't done yet. Mason said he loved him at the birthday parties too. For Mason's birthday we did a pirate party and Trev put on a fun treasure hunt with the boys and made the coolest map too. He even tore it up and burnt the edges to make it look really old. Trevor was really such a fun Dad and just ate up his little boys. He was always so proud of them and I know he still is today. Trevor is my favorite everything. But the one I have thought about a lot on and off lately is one that I was reminded of at church when a couple that was sitting in front of me nudged each other and then took the kids that were next to them and moved them to their other side so they could sit next to each other. Trevor before we ever had kids told me he never wanted our kids to sit between us. He didn't like the idea of our kids getting in between us and us not staying attached to each other like when you are first married. He many times through out our church going days would do just as the couple in front of me. He'd nudge me and we would move the kids so we could sit next to each other. He all our marriage would say, "I feel like your so far away!" and then he would pull me next to him so we were touching and hold my hand. I am so grateful for his example to me of how to love so perfectly. I know I will always fall short but I will still try to be a little more like Trev each day. I love you BIG love!!