My better half would have turned the big 3-0 today. We miss Trevor so much and it is hard to believe that we have made it this long without him here with us. It seems unfair for life to keep going and for him to not be enjoying all the new adventures together with us as a family. It has been a hard month for us with Trevor and my 9TH year anniversary, Father's Day and Trev's Birthday. At times I just want to give up and throw in the towel. If it hadn't been for all the love and encouragement I receive from family and friends I don't think I would have been able to make it this long still standing. We are so incredibly blessed with such an amazing family that has pulled together to help each other through the hard, harder and hardest days. I am so glad they are in this journey along with me. Garrett asked me months ago if we could go up to the cemetery to celebrate Trevor's Birthday. We decided that was a perfect plan and got a big bundle of balloons to release and Aunt Amanda had the grand idea of wrapping candy bars up for everyone to unwrap as they said one of their favorite memories of Trevor. There were not many times when we could be out driving around with Trev and him not stop to grab a treat, "candy bar" and maybe a caffeinated beverage. Aunt Lou was so sweet to send the boys Trev and her favorite treat as kids and one of their favorite books to read, 'Sheldon's Lunch'. We decided that Papa Jim should read the favorite book after we all sobbed trying to get out our favorite memories of Trev while Amanda Sue recorded us. I wonder if Trev was able to watch us and what he thinks as we are all down here struggling to cope with the big whole left in our hearts from loosing such a wonderful part of us. I miss our little family so much and all the adventures of going through life together. We always would say how fast it is going and would get worried that it was all going to go so fast. Now it doesn't seem like it could go fast enough. Although this past year has seemed to go quick the day to day with out being able to look forward for Trev to walk in the door after work seems forever long. One day we will all be together and we will say it was all worth it!!
3 months ago